Andy left a
comment on her birthday post that really made me stop, think, and smile.
Any couple, married or not, will understand (or eventually learn) that one of the crucial elements to a successful relationship is what most people would call "give-and-take". For Andy and I, this has never really been a problem in our relationship. We are almost always on the same page, which for us doesn't necessarily mean we always agree, but it does mean that we are very comfortable being jointly spontaneous, open-minded, and flexible enough to alter our "best-laid-plans" for a better option.
Case in point, Andy's
birthday weekend. Despite our initial plans, there were no martinis, no cake, and absolutely nothing accomplished as far as wedding plans or preparation. The majority of our weekend was actually spent burning through Season 4 of
Dexter, drinking beer, napping, shopping, and eating homemade pizza and
delicious Thai food. (Trust me, we're not complaining. It was a fabulously fun weekend.)
The same can be said for virtually all of our wedding plans. From the very beginning of this process, our decisions have been the product of discussion, brainstorming, and occasionally, substantial compromise. The best example I can think of for this is the music. We each chose certain songs that the other didn't necessarily love, but in the spirit of compromise, we looked at the meanings and reasons behind the choices and arrived at a comfortable understanding and flexibility. We really do make a great team.
It is in this spirit of compromise and flexibility that I am completely comfortable with the idea of certain aspects and routines of my own life being altered for the greater good of the partnership. Behold, my traditional winter beard:
This is a video I made for Andy for her birthday, as she had expressed enthusiasm about me growing my annual beard. I was fairly certain that, although Andy has commented in the past that my beard is good and looks cute, the idea of having it anywhere near her own face was not exactly thrilling to her. She's been a pretty good sport about it so far, though. This is nothing new, by the way. Andy has consistently been a good sport and, as I've mentioned before, very willing to be flexible and leave her preconceived viewpoints behind when it comes to things like eating lobster, or attempting to watch some ridiculous-sounding TV show or movie that I recommend.
Anyway, back to the beard... in the interest of compromise, I have promised Andy that if she still dislikes my beard by the time she comes up for Thanksgiving with me and my parents, I will not hesitate to remove it. No resentment, no regrets, and it will be good practice for a skill that we are already well-versed in, especially when the time comes to make joint decisions far more monumental than any beard could be.